My name is Adii and I'm an addict.
Addicted to what?
Well, pretty much any and all of the things on this list: working, creating something, startups and entrepreneurship.
I've always known that I have a bit of an obsessive personality. And I always thought that it was a good thing, as it correlated well with my passion, which in turn helped with my drive to work hard(er).
This is great when you're playing the game, because the obsession, passion, drive and ambition is what generates the adrenaline that's inherently part of startups and being an entrepreneur.
The problem however starts as soon as you become addicted to that adrenaline, because then all of those things (working, creating something, startups & entrepreneurship) becomes drugs that are difficult to live without.
And by that time, I had already jumped into a new startup, which had strapped me in and committed me to the ride.
That decision quickly turned into a very concrete goal of taking a sabbatical this year.
Reading that now, my immediate reaction is: "Fuck! A whole year without working on a startup or anything that involves my passion for entrepreneurship."
My biggest challenge in recent weeks has been that my head totally understands the logic and value of a sabbatical. But my heart isn't that convinced about the idea, because it's my heart that yearns for the adrenaline (and addiction) the most.
So right now, I don't know how long this sabbatical will last. And I'm preparing myself for the possibility (eventuality?) that it might end in the matter of 2 or 3 months. That would suck a bit, as taking a sabbatical was the biggest goal I set myself this year and I don't want to fail on that by March.
My mind though has shifted to accepting imperfection in this regard, which means that I'm focused on extending my sabbatical, detoxing and recovery for as long as possible. If I get to a year, then great. If not, I'll embrace the imperfection.
In the meantime, here's a couple of things I'm doing to beat this addiction:
My name is Adii and I'm an addict. I have however no been sober for almost 2 months.
And it feels great.