This past Sunday I had entered to race in my first triathlon. After a couple of weeks of hard training, I felt that I was prepared and was excited to take part in my first race.<...>
But I only swam for 100m before I quit the race. I did not finish.
In reliving this experience in the last couple of days, I recognised that there was a major gap between my expectation for the race and the ultimate reality of my experience. The latter was influenced by some external factors beyond my control and it meant that I didn't have the race or experience that I had expected or for which I had hoped and trained.
This was a tough experience for me, because I work hard to achieve my goals. And when reality doesn't meet those goals, I often feel shitty. I am however steadily unlearning that behaviour and have started a new practice of merely being aware of both my expectations and reality, without feeling the need to react in any way.