Nora Wendel is a teacher, coach, and soon-to-be-published author. She teaches Feminine Magnetism, the art of being a confident, sexy woman. In this episode, Adii and Nora discuss seeking effortless pleasure in work and life, why self-expression is so important, the difference between feminine and masculine energies, and the need for feminine energy in capitalism.
Nora Wendel calls herself a “Feminine Magnetism Expert” that strives to teach women how to live a life of “effortless pleasure and effortless luxury” through reconnecting to femininity and repressed sexual desires.
“You cannot work hard at feeling. Feeling comes effortlessly—it’s an embodied state of being.”
For Nora, femininity is effortless. The feminine is all about play, pleasure, and feeling, whereas the masculine is often results-oriented. Nora says she doesn't want to work hard. She wants to play--to have joy and pleasure. And she believes she has gotten the things she wanted through the embodiment of her desires and learning how to truly feel.
Why do we do things? Is it for money or joy? Live to work or work to live? Where is the middle ground? Nora recently asked herself these huge existential questions, and she realized she is here to experience joy and pleasure.
You should be experiencing the fullness of your life through mindfulness and tuning into feeling, Nora explains. Your to-do list of goals will never end, but as you rush toward your finish line, ask yourself: how do I make the experience of achieving those goals worthwhile? The feminine is all about the experience.
“We are not ‘human beings’ only, we are actually ‘human feelings’. We are here to feel everything, and the beauty of it is we can decide right this moment to feel joy, by just deciding.”
The traditional Indian practice of Tantra has become very sexualized in the west, but it is ultimately about mindfulness, she says. Really it’s all about what makes you feel in the moment. This is how we are different from other animals: we have power over our emotions and feelings. You have the power each moment, Nora implores, to choose how you feel.
“How can you feel safe enough within yourself to really, truly authentically express yourself?”
It is fear that makes it hard for us to feel loved, Nora explains, either because we do not recognize the love, or we believe we have to become something else to be loved. Once you dismiss these fears, and realize you can embrace your desires, it is then that you know freedom. When she lived in Bali, she practiced many tantric and embodiment exercises, as well as therapy, in order to address her own darkest fears and move forward toward embracing her femininity.
At the time, she’d experienced a disconnect from her femininity—especially in India, where the feminine is not always welcomed. She didn’t feel safe in being a confident woman. She did not trust, and she could not express herself as a woman. And she thought she could not be alone. It took time for her to embrace all of these aspects of herself. These are all part of the core pillars of what she is teaching now.
Positive self-talk plays a large role in how Nora lives intentionally. She encourages everyone to practice positive self-talk for thirty days and watch how it transforms how they see themselves and live their lives. Criticizing oneself and overanalyzing is pleasureless, Nora says. Be sure to include things that you love in your everyday routine. She suggests writing a pleasure list of all the small, positive things you could do to create change in your life. Allow yourself to navigate toward pleasure.