Uncompromising Ambition

personal

I'm an ambitious guy, which means that I'm currently working on a bunch of different projects (to name only a couple). And on top of this, I'm hiring a new Rails developer to help push it even more projects...

The thing is that there are some days - like today - when I feel as if it is absolutely impossible to be working on all these projects and I just crave the simplicity that comes from only working on one thing at a time. But no, I have this uncompromising ambition which means I want everything done yesterday and that instead of multi-tasking, I just multi-project.

This isn't intended to be some kind of emo tale of how I can't cope, how I can't find time for everything and how I'm not executing enough to be happy / successful. Nope, I'm incredibly happy with my life and I have many blessings which I'm incredibly grateful for.

But this uncompromising ambition has a few consequences though.

I have sacrificed most of my hobbies in life as a result of this ambition... I can't use the internet anymore, without checking my mail or checking in on sales / progress from my different ventures. I only read business- or web-related books and / or content, instead of just chilling out with a mindless novel. Heck, I can't even let my thoughts wander (and relax), without it veering to new ideas, optimizations or business experiments.

Is it a curse? Probably not. In fact, this ambition is probably a good thing, because it makes me work really hard. And deep-down I know that everything doesn't need to be finished yesterday, that I need to delegate & prioritize better and that I need to learn the skill of switching off properly.

It's just that some days - like today - it feels as if I'm completely standing still.