I'm always moving. Point A to Point B. Onto the next thing.<...>
For my own benefit, I've had different labels for that motion. Ambition. Purpose. Entrepreneurship. Progress. Life.
And I've often found myself at odds with that motion. Never truly happy or content or just present.
In recent years I latched onto the idea that my life is not about the goals or destinations, but just about the journey itself. This mindset has undoubtedly helped me in profound ways.
Yet I kept pushing my journey into a direction. I still had goals, dreams, ambition and purpose.
I had learnt to be more present, content and happy in what I was working on right now. But I had not yet found a way to be okay with the discomfort of the things I was working or moving towards.
A good friend shared this short video with me a couple of days ago and I've found myself going back to it often.
Alan Watts - Why Your Life Is Not A Journey from David Lindberg on Vimeo.
There was a very specific part towards the start of the video to which I kept returning:
"In music though, one doesn't make the end of the composition, the point of the composition.
If that were so, the best conductors would be those who played fastest. And there would be composers who only wrote finales.
People would go to a concert to hear just one crackling chord."
Lately I've been feeling this impatience with Receiptful. We're profitable, growing steadily and doing this in a wholesome, sustainable way.
Yet I've been mostly thinking about what's next. The next feature. Our product roadmap. The bigger vision. And what we could do (next) with greater profitability and thus resources.
This simple clip highlighted how I was missing the opportunity I already had in this moment.
I have the foundation and opportunity to be playful. To take risks. To experiment and learn new things.
"But we missed the point all along.
It was a musical thing, and you were supposed to sing, or to dance while the music was being played."
I suddenly don't feel like going anywhere. I just want to be here, in this moment, and learn how I can just be playful.